When you go down on your knees..... That is when the battle begins. The arrogance of a woman who thought she could do it all

Are you a do it all gal? .....   I was once told by a fellow teacher, " I love your can do attitude. You don't need anyone to help."   I took pride in that statement until........

 My world fell apart. That story is for another day but let's  suffice it to say, I did it all, solved it all, took care of it all and everyone listened to me.   You needed me, I was there.  I was the ultimate mom, wife, sister, aunt... and most of all teacher. I was in control.   Let me tell you about control......it is likened as unto witchcraft.  I held hands with it, I loved it and I was good and then  when my world fell apart, things changed.  Don't get me wrong, I love God, believe in Jesus and understand his love.   It wasn't until things fell apart, and doing things to the Glory of ME ended, I understood that God was delivering my final demon in order to use me for his purpose.
I learned and still am learning to understand that it is all for His glory.  I actually stood one day and said, " I bow to king of kings and Lord of Lords."  It's not my battle, I learned, it's His.  I learned that, " with faith you can move mountains...."   I learned that through Christ this can be done and only Him.  God doesn't care for arrogance and self reliance to the levels that I took it. God wants us to totally depend on him.  Period......
These days I do it different.  I go to God first, I get on my knees first and I pray before I make the next move.  Not an easy task, but it has changed the way I teach, relate to others and love my family. It comes down to this...... You can't work both sides.... You either love God or love the control and the demon that it comes with.  It's up to you...